I decided to take some time to reflect back on some of the things I have done in the past and write out what the meanings behind the works are. All of these images are old, some of the first things I have ever done since I have gotten into actually painting and drawing and kept the works I have done.
This picture is probably the oldest one that I have held on to. It's really only about less than 2 years old and was the first 'colored' picture I really made. I was working at Comcast and was feeling real shitty about everything happening in my life at the time, the job, friends, ex-girlfriend and just felt I had no sense of direction really. The words "this is temporary" are lyrics from a Circa Survive album, which I think had just came out around the time and I had just gotten back from a show so they were fresh in my head. I drew the whole image out while at work, at my desk with a ballpoint pen. I had no intentions of really adding color, but a friend recommended I try using some watercolors. Having never used them before, I bought watercolor pencils and added color and used a Q-tip to smear the colors. Turned out decent for being on printer paper and all. The plane with the two faces was soon after redrawn and made to look a lot better and was then tattooed on my arm along with a different quote. I would really like to redo this one sometime on better paper, but I don't think it will top this one because of the place it falls inside of me.
The frozen heart picture came about in probably around the fall of 2007. Pretty apparent in meaning, but I was always real happy with the outcome of it. This was again made with watercolor pencils but actually on cold pressed paper.
The falling bomb picture is directly linked to a Thursday song. Again signifying the way I was feeling at the time. Although this picture was made right around the same time as the frozen heart one, I still felt as if things were going nowhere. This was one of the first pictures, along with my 'Guts' one below, that I used a timer on the camera and posed to have a picture reference of myself to use for the drawing. It is still something I do often, as I put myself in a lot of the pictures. Here re the lyrics from the song.
Do you hear the jet plane yawning miles across the sky? hear the garbage truck back down the boulevard, setting off the car alarms as it passes by? do you hear the static of one thousand detuned radios? shut the window, love. keep the world outside. I don't want to think about anyone but the footsteps are getting louder, drowning out the sound of the rain, as it knocks on the windowsill. I'm not answering the phone - let it ring. lately I've been feeling like a falling bomb. the ground is getting closer and the sky is falling down. this song has been brought to you this song has been brought to you by a falling bomb.
The guts drawing started as a real basic pencil sketch with just red in color that I did at work one day. Although it has been asked many times, it is not a direct reference to the movie Akira. I do own the movie and am a fan of the artwork within, but I drew this because of again, the situation and the way I felt at the time. I constantly had a feeling in my stomach, like it was so heavy that it would just fall out of my skin. This was really the only way I could think of to create this feeling visually. This is another one of my favorites and was made in the fall of 2007 also.
I have a lot more pictures that I will post when I need to kill time, each with some kind of meaning to me. I hope to try and continue them in order, as they were actually created.
